Authentically connected

WHOA, friends. Your response to my blog post last week has left me profoundly grateful and awestruck. You have turned something that could have been deeply isolating into something exceedingly positive with your warm words and kind thoughts & actions. In opening up about my experience with depression, you have shown support in the most varied and beautiful ways. Your thoughtfulness and consideration reminded me of the words of an author that were presented to me at a very opportune time.

Whilst in Abu Dhabi, CBC podcasts became my homesickness-relief mainstay. I remember being particularly drawn to an episode from The Current that featured Sebastian Junger – a former war-time journalist and author of The Perfect Storm. In his latest book, Tribe, he theorized that as humans, we had not yet evolved to adapt to modern-society’s departure from a more tribal and communal way of life. We live in a time that sees independence and going-it-alone as a sign of strength, in a society that seems to value material goods and physical beauty over intrinsic qualities. By nature, Junger suggests that we are struggling to reconcile these opposing realities – this, in turn, has created disconnected communities plagued with increasing rates of health disorders, particularly related to mental illness. This is especially true for our returning veterans, who fight wars overseas in the name of our freedom and values – only to return home after battle, having lost their collective purpose and feeling disengaged from the divided society that they find themselves in. The importance of community and connectivity was particularly stressed.

I remember this striking a particular chord with me, missing the solid connections I’d made in Calgary over the past decade or so. Though I’d made some wonderful friendships in the Middle East that I still cherish today, I missed the deeper, effortless relationships I had at home. Having already noticed a shift in how I had been feeling, I related part of this sense of loneliness to not feeling the same level of community in living abroad that I enjoyed in Calgary.

I picked up a copy of Junger’s book a few months after I returned to Canada. Within the first few pages, I stared at and reread a particular section of the book for what felt like interminable minutes.

«  …human beings need three basic things in order to be content : they need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; they need to feel connected to others. » (Junger, 2016).

It was incredibly simple, but a stirring and compelling truth for me. I felt as though I was striking out on what seemed like all counts. I felt disatisfied at work, not feeling as though my responsibilities were drawing on my particular strengths and competencies. I felt inauthentic, unable to be honest with myself about why I was feeling so out of sorts—and consequently,  a rather false sense of me permeated through my relationships with others as well. As such, it was impossible to feel truly connected.

            You know how this particular story begins to end (see last blog post if you’re unsure). But, again, WHOA to your response. THANK YOU. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUUU. Gratefulness in beautifully overwhelming quantities. Your calls, texts, messages, hugs and time in reaction to my authenticity have led to me feeling connected and loved (#blessed). ALSO, many of you have opened up your wallets to donate to the cause originally attached to my decision to post my story. Thanks to your generosity, team « Miles for Mimosas » will be running on Sunday as the leading fundraising team for Calgary’s Run for Women, with over 1600$ raised to aid with mental health care in our city.

Thank you for sharing with me your own stories about your battles with mental illness. Thank you for caring. Thank you for offering your unwavering support. You have proven to me that humans really do have a basic need to feel connected - and that sometimes, asking for help is the first step in doing so. 

XOXO

Works cited : Junger, Sebastian. Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging. London: 4th Estate, 2016. Print.