Lessons in Googling, GPSing, and Government.

“Good luck in Dubai!”. By the time my move to Abu Dhabi was imminent, I’d lost count of how many times people had mistakenly assumed/thought that I was actually moving to Dubai, and not the UAE’s capital. Only about an hour’s drive from each other, Abu Dhabi was dubbed “the new Middle East” by the writers of the horrific Sex and the City 2 movie; however, is usually lesser known than its flashy, buzzing, EXPO 2020 host-city sister.

This is in no way a criticism what became a common mistake that I found myself politely nodding to instead of correcting. Having Googled “where is Abu Dhabi” shortly after having seen it on the list that resulted from my “international schools with Alberta curriculum” search, I was not in a place to judge or point fingers.

Finding Abu Dhabi on a map was the first baby step of many in learning about life in the UAE. Having been here for about 6 weeks, the lesson learning is JUST beginning… but here is a glimpse of some of them thus far.

Lesson 1: TGIT. Weekends here are Fridays and Saturdays. By the time my friends in Calgary wake up on Monday, that makes me about halfway through my workweek here, having just ended my “Tuesday”… but really, it’s Monday.  Following me?

Lesson 2: The rules of the road. Soon after my arrival here, I became the proud renter of Princess Jasmine, a little nugget of a Toyota Yaris. It was love at first sight of gas pump prices- she costs me a little less than 20$ to fill up at approximately 0.32$ a litre. Road names and addresses here being virtually non-existent, I knew I had to accessorize her with a GPS to help guide me from point A to point B. Enter “James”, the British accent chosen as the narrating voice of our Middle Eastern road travels via Garmin system.

The relationship with said British accented GPS would be best described as passive/aggressive. I forgive James when he sends me down a route that feels much longer than it should be. Tension starts to build when this extended route makes Jasmine’s gas light start to flash unexpectedly, dozens of kilometres from the nearest (super cheap) gas station. Blame and threats of drop kicks start to happen when James lives in the past of Abu Dhabi’s quickly changing routes and directs me to a deserted parking lot or a worker’s camp.

Most challenging for James and me seems to be perfecting the art of traffic circle navigation. I am familiarizing myself with a roundabout system that is most accurately described as madness-inducing. I’ve been cut off, honked at and/or taken the wrong exits more times than I can count (almost always James’ fault, obviously). And while driving here brings out the ‘aggressive psycho’ in all of us, as my friend and colleague Rachel pointed out, there is to be no release of this tension or anger via middle finger salute. Flipping the bird here is seen as incredibly disrespectful, and may on rare occasions even get you arrested or deported. Which brings me to my next point…

Lesson 3: Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore. One of the most exciting things about living abroad is having your perspective on how things work completely flipped on its head.  What is ‘normal’ or expected back home is sometimes entirely different than the customs and traditions here. While many things quite resemble life in the western hemisphere (hello, globalization!), there are evidently some significantly different cultural norms. To answer some of the most reoccurring FAQs regarding life for a foreign woman in the Middle East:

A.    Clothing: No, I do not have to wear a burka. As a general rule, if your shoulders and thighs are covered, you’re fine anywhere. Bikinis are appropriate beach and pool wear. The nightclub scene has a Vegas vibe: short skirts and skin-tight dresses, sans Black Jack tables L.

B.    Yes, I can drive here. See lesson 2.

C.   The food in the grocery stores is very similar to what we find at home. I arrived to find that the school had stocked my pantry with a tub of peanut butter. Well played, CIS. Local produce is super cheap, but you’ll pay Whole Foods-esque prices for some strawberries or maple bacon (yep, available in some specialty stores here. Not that I bought some my first week here or anything. Just something I heard….).

I came to the UAE with a certain degree of knowledge of those first three points; however, I did not quite expect the following:

D.   Make-outs and nude scenes find themselves on the cutting room floor. According to us, November Man starring Pierce Brosnan was the tale of a (visibly) older former Bond with lots of blood, guts, violence, guns. No kissing or lady swooing.

**Movie spoiler alert** A few choppy edits later, and we are left puzzled as to why the leading lady is about to start a domesticated life with a man she has barely even kissed… **

And then Ohhhhh. The realization that this missing piece never made it to the big screen here. Same goes for Ben Affleck’s latest 3-hour movie Gone Girl, which for us clocks in at 2:20. If someone wants to slip me a North American copy for “comparison” purposes, let me know.

E.    Government. Anyone who knows me even a little bit understands that I find ANYTHING politics indescribably riveting and fascinating. Living in what is perhaps the most stable country in what can be a volatile region has me SO curious about what life in an absolute monarchy is like. While I won’t pretend that my brief time here has given me any sort of in-depth knowledge or thorough understanding of the possibilities and issues that exist here, it has been eye-opening to live in a country where most nationals quite readily accept and embrace not having a say in who leads their country. Remember that I come from a country and school where I regularly menaced students that a “terrifying version of me would haunt them in their dreams at night” if they did not exercise their right to vote (which, come to think of it, may have a tinge of totalitarianism to it…).

Teaching about liberalism and democracy in Canada can be quite predictable: the worldviews of most of my students in Calgary were very similar. Occasionally, I’d find a student who was willing to argue the validity of social programs in Canada. Even less frequent were the ones who dared to question our health care system. Not so at my new school, where expat and local students’ ideas and ideals can clash, which I LOVE! New to the discussion table is the argument FOR dictatorship, and a questioning of just exactly what are taxes. Every Social Studies teacher’s dream! Right, guys?!

The past six weeks have been eye-opening, incredible, frustrating, lonely, exciting, warm, inviting and pretty much every other emotional adjective you can add to a roller-coaster of feelings one experiences when deciding to move halfway around the world. Above all, I am incredibly happy to finally be here, to the place I’d always said I’d find myself when I first decided to become a teacher. Teaching internationally is something that has been on my “to do” list for a long time… and though I had trouble finding it on a map at first, I’m happy that I’m now its sandy hills for a while.